Co-parenthood is not easy. It’s really a chore. When no parent is ready to negotiate or communicate, the child has the transition work of one parental style to another. As a parent educator and family therapist, I have seen many anxiety and confused children affected by the inconsistent rules and styles of their parents. Sometimes children do it under the same roof and sometimes under two, but the end result is that parents’ liability to create a balance.
Parenting skills vary enormous as personalities. Differences can be as subtle as the fixation of unemployment as serious as choosing consequences for bad behavior. The final result is that adults have a number of parenting motivations. For example, they could try to do better than their parents. Thus, we try to find new effective strategies for raising good children. These ambitions can be sufficiently difficult. Now add the challenge of joining forces with another adult who has been raised by different parents and who can select different strategies.
So how are parents married or divorced, stay clear and consistent, raising confident children and feeling influential as parents? They learn to work together and become better co-parents! Here are several stages of co-parenting.
Identify your style and personal motivations. Your first job to become a successful co-mother is to understand your style and general motivations. If it was up to you, how are you ahead? How would you like to motivate your children? How would you use punishments and encouragement? What are the top 10 values you want to teach your children? Now, ask why? Why would your style be this way? What is your motivation? How did your parents have your parents? Are you trying to repeat their education or compensate?
Share your parental style and your motivation with your co-parent. I understand that you might feel vulnerable to share your style and your motivation. Your style may be different from your spouse’s style. For you and your co-parents partner successfully, you both appreciate and support the ideas you bring to the table. When you listen to where the other parent comes, it will allow you to join forces.
Before deciding on a parenting style and direction, consult books and parent classes. Now that you have looked at the parent’s style, take a look at good parenting books and current research. Report to each other and examine the measurement of your styles.
Decide on a mutual multinational style. You now have several examples of parental strategies and philosophies. It’s time to mix what you believe with what your co-parents believes and what experts say. It is the ultimate that it is in the negotiation, but remember that if you do not negotiate at the adult level, it leaves your child to understand it. Once you have decided, then write the basics and embraces your new co-parenting style.
Implement your new co-parenting style. Now you parent! Both parents are on the same page. Children are clear about what is expected of them and what are the consequences if they do not follow family expectations. Thus, this reduces opportunities to discuss between parents and opportunities for manipulation by children.
Keep weekly co-parents meetings with your spouse. Since you are the CEO of your family and you will find trading partners very real, you must stay in constant communication. The success or failure of your family is based on your capable hands. Thus, co-parents meetings are a must! These meetings should include finances, domestic maintenance, parenting and relationship problems. Meetings should be kept weekly with the book of planning, the journal of the meeting and the budget book by hand. Continue reviewing your parental style. You may see that a prosperous child under your new system while others lose equilibrium. Good co-parents always re-evaluate and restructure